I'm planning to create a new Linux distribution (since the world is just begging for more). So the first thing I'm going to do is pick a name like everybody else does. Unlike some people, I'm not going to register on a dozen Linux forums just to start a topic like "Name suggestions for starting a new distribution." I've already decided what it's going to be.

Wait for it. Now... (roll of drums)

EkalaBukala TinkuBinku JagadaThugada Komanabuntu.

Notice carefully that it ends in "buntu." Yes, it's based on that King of Distributions, that Leader of All Linux Operating Systems, the one and only Ubuntu!!! (OOOOOOOOOOObuntu!! Yay! Yay! How unique!) The USP of this distribution is that it's going to be an easy-to-use desktop Linux for the newbie (something nobody has thought of before)...

Here's the logo:

Advanced stuff you can do with this new distribution:

• Write letters and stuff (using the new WordProcessor which has a hairbrush office assistant instead of a paper clip)
• Browse the web and read e-mail (using a brand new web browser called CarbonPoo)
• Listen to music (using an innovative new MP3 player called ZMMMMMMMMMMMMMS which can be "skinned")

Now that's what a desktop Linux is supposed to do!

Oh, by the way, If you think the name is too short, then sucks to you, it's my distribution and I will do what I want with it, so there. Now to register a new domain name for this lovely earth-shattering, mind-blowing Linux distribution which will completely wipe out Microsoft from the face of this planet. I'm getting edgy about it already... get it? Edgy, edgy hahaha...

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Ever noticed the tendency of shopkeepers never to take anything at your word? Recently the power adapter of my laptop failed and since it was still in warranty, I called the owner of the shop from where I purchased it and asked him whether it would be replaced. We had checked the piece carefully and found that the problem was with the AC-to-DC converter rather than the plug and told him so. He asked us to bring the unit to his shop. I thought he was going to replace it, so we took it there.

He checked the adapter unit by connecting it to the laptop and switching the power on (a very technologically advanced procedure, don't you think?). It didn't work (surprise, surprise!) and he asked us to take it to the HP service center. Wow! Really? At that moment I wanted to fall at his feet because he'd made the most earth-shattering revelation which had eluded our dull minds for such a long time!! Mate... we loved visiting your shop just to see your angelic face. Telling us over the phone to take it to HP directly and saving us an extra trip lugging the laptop around would have been so cruel of you and denied us the pleasure of wasting a Sunday morning just to pay you a social call.

Seriously, I don't know why shopkeepers always assume that customers are idiots or don't know what's wrong with the products they buy. We didn't exactly need you to verify our warranty claim. The people at the HP service center do that themselves.

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Running apt-get dist-upgrade (actually I use Synaptic package manager) on Debian is one of the most morally elevating experiences you can ever have in your life -- trust me. It is the solution to life's problems, International terrorism, poverty, war, crime, hatred and everything else that's bad under the sun.

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I enjoy doing these random ramblings. Do you like them? (answer choices: (a) yes, (b) absolutely, (c) I like them) I'd love your feedback (cue: praise me now).

P.S. Papa Hari certifies that this post wasn't composed under the influence of any "substances." No, really