Here's my own take on some common online forum expressions. All in a light-hearted manner. And of course no offence intended :mrgreen:

When they say:I don't mean to offend anybody, but...
They mean: Offence is certainly intended, you idiots, if you're smart enough to understand what I write.

This is going way off topic...
I've run out of meaningful things to say on this topic.

This is a great discussion. Here's what I feel on this subject...
I couldn't be bothered to read those ten pages full of tripe, people, but I thought I would share my wisdom here. Some moderately intelligent creature is bound to find this jewel of a post amidst all that garbage and praise me.

(in a heated flame war) I couldn't care less who the hell you are and where you come from...
If I could find your address, you stinker, I'd post you a package with Anthrax spread all over it.

(in a flame war) Come on folks. This is getting out of hand. Let's all calm down now.
I love playing teacher. I wonder why they haven't made me a moderator here yet. Boo... hoo...

I'm done posting in this thread. People just keep twisting all my words...
...the way I intended them to. And... hey, I hope I got under your skin too.

This topic has been discussed here tons of times before. Try a search.
I want you to know how experienced and knowledgeable I am in this forum, you poor newbie. In case you didn't notice, take a good look at the post count I have. Go me!

This is a great forum...
I want to suck up to the admins here. It might come in handy some time.

Welcome to this forum, [new user]! Hope you enjoy your stay here!
I don't know who you are and don't care whether you enjoy it here or not, but I'm desperate to increase my post count and this is such a mindless way to do it, too.

I'm leaving this forum for good...
I'll be dropping by every half hour to check the responses. I sure hope at least twenty people respond and ask me to stay, since I'm such a useful member of this community. Go me!

I'm just an average guy and I don't have the time and patience like some of you people to do [something here]...
Most of you people don't have a life and are probably online at this forum 24x7... Just like me.

People, please don't feed the trolls...
...as I'm doing right now. I sure couldn't resist the urge to feed him, but then you must understand that I'm a moderator-in-training here. At least I hope I am...

Quite frankly/To be honest...
All right. Forget everything I said before. Fun's over: no more Mr Nice Guy. I've been reserving all my ammunition for this... no prisoners taken.

Sorry for the misunderstanding...
I'm also sorry for overestimating the average level of IQ on this board which has come down considerably thanks to your participation.

No hard feelings...
In a sense this is true, because when I get my hands on you one of these days, you will be left in a state where you won't have any sense of feeling.